Sri Lanka is the first Asian country I’ve been to where people seem happier to eat alone. In Japan, Thailand, Indonesia and Singapore people prefer to make a big event of eating together even daily lunch with colleagues. The only exception in my experience has been that Bhutanese families will eat in the kitchen while guests eat with the father of the house in the living room.
During my time living in Sri Lanka, I was only joined for a meal on four occasions. My meals were all laid out on the dining table and cleared away once I was finished, but my hosts ate in the kitchen or in front of the television. Every other volunteer had the same experience and all were as baffled as I was.
This isn’t to say that Sri Lankans never eat together. Over the New Year period, most families host a dinner for their relatives, neighbours and friends. I was invited to five or six of these, all with a similar pattern. Social groups formed cliques – family groups not mingling with friends and they all shunned the neighbours. The exception seemed to be the men of drinking age who sat around a small table laden with arak, whiskey and some nibbles.
I’m still confused as to why Sri Lankan people don’t give food the same social emphasis that other Asians do. Indrani, the lady of the house, sat with me while I ate on a couple of occasions. When I asked why the family didn’t eat together, she explained that she and Charley did eat together in the early days, but that her doctor had recommended she change her eating patterns after some gastronomic difficulties. That doesn’t explain why the rest of the volunteers had similar experiences.