Have you ever heard people say ‘If it’s not on facebook, it’s not real’? You’re not really in a relationship until you’ve acknowledged it on facebook. I guess the corollary is that you haven’t broken up until you’ve acknowledged it on facebook. So what happens if only one person in a new / broken couple posts the status of their relationship? Does facebook account for such instances? Apparently not if the news is true about a woman who found out about her divorce through facebook. But I digress.
A large population – not just of Australia, not just of the West, but of the world – use facebook and validate their lives through a website. One of my friends proved that earlier this week. As a present to his valentine, he changed his status to ‘in a relationship.’ This wasn’t just to show his commitment to her or to share the joy with his friends. It was a virtual wedding ring, signalling to any other girl that came along that he was off the market.
Of course, it assumes that every girl he meets is going to look him up on facebook, but in this country of iphones and eternal connectivity, that’s not such an unrealistic assumption. I can see girls giggling at the bar, commenting on the guy one of their friends is seducing. They catch his name. A few moments later, one of them walks up to their friend and whispers in her ear. ‘Give it up. He’s taken.’
There are sites that give advice on how to use facebook to find love and how to avoid ruining a relationship. I wonder if they cover using privacy settings and teach young people that it’s possible to set your relationship status to be visible to friends and partner, but not to those girls you meet on a night out.