MBA

Marriage is a relatively new concept in Bhutan. In the rural areas, couples form and create families and, presumably, many live happily ever after. But those families can also break apart with a word. I haven’t yet delved enough into the details to know what form a dowry takes, if any, or what the implications of a broken relationship might mean to that payment. Given that there is no formal marriage, one might expect that there’s no dowry either, in which case no one loses.

Courtship is also a bit unusual. People from the town talk of the ‘living legend’ of night hunting. This is the sport of young single men who prowl the villages looking for open windows of young maidens. Once the couple has taken their pleasure, the man moves on looking for another window. The girls can similarly entertain a few men in a night, which makes it unlikely that pregnancy is the driver for ‘commitment.’ I can only assume that commitment comes when a girl entices a man to stay for the full night.

In the cities, night hunting is a legend and many people choose to have their relationship formalised, but it can apparently also be broken with a word. Nor is the formal marriage a closed relationship. We recently learned that our rock climbing buddies, who seem to be out carousing and chasing girls every evening, have wives and children. “You don’t act like you’re married,” accused Marie, while I was starting up the cliff.

“Life doesn’t stop just because you’re married,” they countered. “We’re MBA. Married But Available.”

“I’d hate to be your wife.” Marie was referring to the unenviable life of staying home to mind the children while the husband is out enjoying the modern equivalent of night hunting.

“Why?” they ask, unable to see the problem.

By now I was halfway up the cliff and didn’t want Marie distracted from supporting me. “Because she’s taken!” All of them looked up and laughed.

“Keep climbing. You’re not part of this conversation.”

Perhaps it’s not all one-sided. According to a French friend who married a Bhutanese man, both sexes arrange their own gambling nights with entertainment provided by the opposite sex.

But marriage is primarily a rich person’s privilege. The poorer people of Thimphu don’t bother with formalising their relationships. And the king has shown his wealth by formally married four sisters. I can’t help but wonder if it was a night hunt gone wrong.