I went to the cinema last night to see ‘Sex and Death’, a collection of short films by Estonians. Merle warned me they’d be surreal, but I still wasn’t quite prepared.
The first started with a young man selling ice creams in a street cart. When he didn’t sell enough, his boss said he had other work for him and took him to a dinghy hotel room for a porn shoot. The girl he’d partner with was just as reluctant as him, but she dutifully spread her legs to have her hair trimmed while he took a shower. When the young man couldn’t get an erection during the dialogue, the director ordered the camerman to give him a blowjob, but even through his shame, he ejaculated before they could start shooting.
The second was of a wife who’d loved her husband until he had an accident and ended up in a wheelchair, at which time she’d started having an affair with a doctor friend and was expecting his baby. The doctor came to visit the couple socially and both the husband and wife, for their own reasons, asked the doctor to leave a needle full of morphine when he left. He did so grudgingly and the wife got drunk so she could commit the act. When the doctor arrived the next morning, he was delighted to find that the husband was still alive, but of course, when he went to share his joy with the wife, he found her dead with a big smile.
The third began with soldiers in a trench, bizarrely firing to both sides. One of their number was shot and died with his finger on the trigger. A stray bullet took the life of the hero’s twin brother. When all were dead, the hero picked up his brother and began the walk home (presumably). Along the way, he heard strange sounds and was shot at from all directions. One night, his brother was taken while he slept. When he followed the drag marks the following morning, he found his brother in a field of dead soldiers. ‘You’re not like the others,’ he told the dead brother. ‘You can get up and walk again. See, you’ll be able to walk when I can fly. I’ll show you.’ He ran around the field with arms outstretched until he was exhausted, stopping with his back to his brother. The brother got up, picked up the gun and shot him. As the camera panned around, the whole field was full of dead soldiers in parade formation.
The last was a couple who fought because he was too boring for her. In the showdown, she said she wanted to be fucked by Black Peter’s big black cock. He got drunk. She fell asleep. He went out to find a black man to do the job. She woke up screaming, he pulled a knife, the black man ran off and the couple made some kind of peace.
We all needed a drink after that, so we went to a bar called ‘the Hairdressers.’