I’ve got a room right next to the lifts. Which is good if you don’t like walking far. I don’t mind (walking that is). What I notice most about this spot is the ‘pin pong’ of the lifts as they approach my floor and the ones above and below me. (Dad, every time I hear them, that stupid phrase “that was good. that was very good. that was very very good. pin pong” runs through my head – the pitch is exact – and when I find the person who started that…) It kept me up until well after midnight, and I found that there are people who wake up before me too!
And so begins DAY 1 of my trial. The day I get a medical test and go for a tour around the island that is the home of P&G in Asia.
TRYING NOT TO SPEAK JAPANESE
I already know that one of the expectations my new manager has of me is to be ‘ruthless’. I have to come in here and get rid of all the excess vendors that aren’t adding value. If I’m going to be the ‘big bad gaijin’ then I’d rather do it properly. You know, wear the Viking hat, carry an axe and refuse to speak Japanese (which works for the Japanese when they do business with westerners). For that, I’m going to need a translator in meetings. There’s also a good chance that the translator I get for those meetings is the one they provided for me today. So I decided to pretend I couldn’t speak Japanese at all. It’d be good practice for the meetings even if she isn’t the one I get then.
Ten minutes after meeting, we were talking about where she learnt English, and she asked me “And what about you? Where did you learn Japanese?”. “What do you mean?” I asked, trying to sound innocent (and a lot of people tell me I can’t pull that off). “You only said a couple of words before, but it was very natural”. So there’s one to build my confidence in Japanese again, but not the effect I was looking for. I’m going to have to learn to say ‘koe neechi waa’ like a true barbarian all over again.
JAPANESE HOSPITALS
After that, I gave up on trying to pretend and started practising again. She was useful quite a few times during the day as the local tongue became too fast or started getting technical, so we did drift into English every now and then. The first place that this happened was at the hospital. I was expecting a simple check-up: take off your shirt, look into this light, “cough”, tap, tap, etc. Uh, uh. Not in Japan. They went through all that, but I was also made to have an x-ray, and blood test, and, and…
The most bizarre part of it all though (and there were many, including seeing hundreds of nurses shuffling round in pink suits – had they given me any drugs yet?) was the reason this simple check-up took all morning. They’ve taken specialisation to the extreme. I was expecting the one doctor to do everything, but no! At the first counter (or was it the third?) they gave me a flow chart explaining which room I was to go to when, and which forms I was to take. The first was the x-ray room. “you can’t hurt me – I’ve worked at Lucas Heights”, I cried as they all left the room for the event. Then the cardiograph. ‘How can I relax when I’ve got electrodes and metal clamps all over me. And I thought these were meant to be taken while exercising anyway’, I thought. Rather loudly (I hate electricity). By the time I got around to the blood sample room, Ueshima-san (the interpreter) was ready to prop me up in case this weak foreigner fainted. Not a chance. I almost REALLY embarrassed myself at the urine sample stage.
I was told to go into the toilet, take a cup…. I was on my way back out when I realised that there was no way they could expect me to walk through a crowded hallway carrying a sample! I looked around, and there at groin height was a little window. I opened it and passed my cup through along with a bit of paper that I’d been given. Of course the position of the window was to ensure privacy (of the face only), but the natural urge is to bend down to see through it – which I only just managed to stop myself from doing. The set up is the same at some love hotels, and the mistake….. Aaah? At least, that’s what I’ve been told…
Next was eye tests, then ears, then..
…
Three hours later, I was putting my clothes back on for the 5th time, and I’d well and truly had enough. Hospitals in Japan have a reputation for being very effective, but I think I’ll stick to eating my vegies, thanks. We had to come back at 3pm to get the results since they.. well I never really worked that one out. I was in perfect health though.
SIGHT-SEEING
After lunch, we took a tour of the island that is to be my home for the next ……. years. I don’t have to live on the island itself, and I’ve asked to be shown places off the island. I’m warming to the idea though, with the only negative really being the number of P&G people living here. I came to see the world! I was quite amused by the things that I was shown – but then, I didn’t need to see schools, or churches, or fashion plazas. So I was shown… supermarkets.
I haven’t got a lot to say about supermarkets since they’re pretty much the same the world over (or at least as much of the world as I’ve seen). There were some differences though. First on the list was a foreign supermarket. You could get everything from cereal to meat to fluffy toys, and all of it came from the US. Now there’s one to stay away from! Second stop was the FBC (foreign buyers club), where you could get everything imported cheap from anywhere.. as long as you wanted 20 of it. Storing 20 boxes of weet-bix may be feasible for those international managers in their western style apartments, but the shoe-box I’m expecting won’t hold them. Hang on! I haven’t bought a stand for my stereo yet. Maybe I can make it out of Weet-bix boxes.
Last stop was the Co-op supermarket, where everything is preservative free, colour free, and flavour full. This is where you get free range eggs, free range chicken, and free range beef, not to mention free range broccoli and free range apples. I didn’t see any free range fluffy toys. Ueshima-san brought me here because she’d realised that I was health conscious. Very perceptive, this lady. I guess it pays to be, in a job where a lot of clues on meaning come via body language. Anyway, what I was going to say about Co-op is that it was the chain used by my Nagoya host family. Only they had this great electronic order book. The book would be passed around the neighbourhood early in the week, along with a calculator type thingy (engineering term) and my host mum would enter her order for next week (or maybe later this week). Later that week, (or maybe the next week, I can’t remember) the fresh food would arrive on the doorstep. A great idea – for the traditional family where the wife stays at home all day. My experiences in getting furniture delivered recently have left me a bit sceptical about home delivery.
There’s also a sports centre on the island, but I didn’t get to see it. I was much too engrossed in all the supermarkets.
I LOVE JAPANESE HOTELS
OK. So I’ve whinged about the bell boys. I whined about the lifts. When I came back after the tour today, though, I found something in my room that made everything else seem bearable…
My glass was where I left it
I always take a glass out of the bathroom and leave it on the desk beside the bed where I can get to it easily. I do the same with tissues. And every day, and every night, when I go back to my room, the glass has been taken away, and a new clean one has been put back in the bathroom where it’s useless. I’m probably being picky, but that’s one of the reasons I’d prefer to stay in a backpackers than in a 5 star hotel. Today though, My Glass Was WHERE I LEFT IT. There was even a little plastic cover over it to stop dust getting into my drink. It may have been to keep the chlorine in, but hell, if they can leave my glass in the right spot, I’m prepared to drink a little chlorine! I bet that if I left the plastic bag that I carry my books in on the table, they wouldn’t even take it as rubbish! I may even give someone a tip.
QUEUING FOR TRAINS
I was allowed out early, and since I was officially sight-seeing today, I decided to go into town. First stop, the station. Actually, the first train I caught was a monorail, but they have doors on the platform so if the doors of the ‘liner’ don’t line up, no one can get in or out. My story really starts at the next train – JR. Japan Rail. The national rail network. Chaos.
The train didn’t stop with it’s doors where they’re marked on the platform!! I mean, what IS the world coming to? With service like that, it’s no wonder people are scattered all over the platform. These people weren’t even courteous enough to wait for everyone else to get off before they started pushing their way on. I wiped a tear from my eye as I watched the decline of society as I know it.
ELECTRONICS
No. This is a whole chapter on it’s own. I don’t want to bore you with it today, but it was the electronic section of town that I headed to for the evening. I’m really looking forward to coming back here when I have my own place.