I’d really been looking forward to a BBQ at the beach the following weekend, but even that became a frustrating experience. It was organised by the company volleyball club – the only place I’d found untainted by gaijin – and I was looking forward to being able to swim, eat good food and get to know the other members. In my mind, I saw us sitting under a tree in a park. There would be a strip of white sand between us and the ocean, barely visible between all the pretty girls sun baking. We’d set up a volleyball court in the shade and have a light game after scoffing down a meal. I just wasn’t ready for the reality of a Japanese beach.